nice girls are hot
danette
nice girls like blingblings
glittery hairpins
frilly skirts
pointy heels
and the lacoste
sleek camo
z4 coupé individual
nice girls are greedy too
transiberia!
giraffe for a pet
chocolate factory
summers that last forever
old fashioned ice creams
a handsome black horse
latin amerikka-ka-ka
borders and that cd shop
hedonistic holidays
beer, chips and girls
nice people are talkative
everyone has a past.
and here's mine.
Mai 2004
Juni 2004
Juli 2004
August 2004
September 2004
Oktober 2004
November 2004
Dezember 2004
Januar 2005
Februar 2005
März 2005
April 2005
Mai 2005
Juni 2005
Juli 2005
August 2005
September 2005
Oktober 2005
November 2005
Dezember 2005
Januar 2006
Februar 2006
März 2006
April 2006
Mai 2006
Juni 2006
Juli 2006
August 2006
September 2006
Oktober 2006
November 2006
Dezember 2006
at heart, i must be a nerd.
P1: to be thinking abt things like - COMPUTERS. PROGRAMS. ARTIFICIAL INTELLIGENCE. MINDS.
P2: nobody told me to, and of which i have no use for.
C1: therefore, i conclude that i am a nerd.
i can only think of two things that seperate us human beings, i.e. brains and more imptly - minds, from computers, i.e. artificial intelligence.
1. we can feel, perceive and think for ourselves
2. we can learn.
one day, computers will be programmed to feel and learn. or these could have already been "invented".
so shall we group human intelligence and artificial intelligence as a simple group like, information processing systems?
that is too simplistic a view. no. becoz it is beyond our scope, and he/she/it made it such that we never fully understand our minds and why, how we create meanings.
try, for example, the chinese room argument.
but then again, maybe we just smart alecs who designate ourselves as Intelligent and all the time we're actually only equipped with rudimentary intelligence and The Matrix does exist.
maybe. just maybe.
it was |1:30:00 AM|
wah! ok. yes. i change my mind. now i do think andy lau "tat huat" is so hamsum.
i love intelligent shows!
which is why, i can't believe that i fell asleep during the first studio's stayover (a million yrs ago) where someone brought along Infernal Affairs I, II and EVEN THREE and everybody wanted to watch! (i think coz the first half an hr was kinda slow-moving).
i've just caught it on tv and man it's GOOD.
so now, i am gonna investigate who was the mole with the vcds!
it was |11:35:00 PM|
argh the papers today (or rather, yesterday. i really shud read papers in the MORNING of the exact day) revealed (partially) what i think about the yasukuni. but they make it such a dry academic piece it becomes sp difficult to read. the straits times really should employ me as their writer. but i am so lazy i don't record the thoughts down until someone else has come up with it too.
which is why laziness and procrastination-until-it-nv-gets-done are gonna be my greatest downfall.
all i can say now is - take things into perspective. there're things which ur authorities do not tell u too so any talk of "history" and "atrocities" and "morality" and blahblahblah are always hypocritical. or rather, in the perspective of the person. and it is a very, very childish thing to cancel that meeting. classic kindergarten-playground mentality. u fuel chinese nationalism, but what u didn't think of is that u fuel japanese nationalism too.
the massacres did occur, true. many, many people suffered and died, true. yasukuni houses war criminals, true. the revision of the history books is a step back, true.
but invasion of tibet, also true. cultural revolution and famine, also true. inner mongolia, again true. firearms and military weapons to the khmer rogue, true. that u became too weak fighting amongst urselves to stop any outsiders, even in the earlier stages, also true.
and do u mention all these, and more, in ur history books? no? i think ur history books need a revision too.
and paying respects to ur ancestors is a deeply-ingrained culture in asian cultures - east asian especially, whether ur ancestors did right or wrong stuffs. and u do not renounce them. well, usually. telling him not to visit the yasukni anymore is akin to telling u to take mr. mao out of the mausoleum, renouncing him as the great leader, and giving reparations to everybody affected during his great leap and cultural revolutions and re-educations. or like the vietnamese govt to renounce mr. ho as their founding father and admitting viet cong did hurt people.
becoz despite everything, people need ideologies to stay alive, fuels the mind and spirit. (my preferred choices include: materialism and instant gratifications.) and ideologies are never perfect - which is why nobody has truly found utopia. or as i like to say, u need to be a myopia to find utopia.
and then there are other factors, like his need for the coalition to work and support him. the erasure of certain history and blame by the u s of a itself. blahblahblah
so koizumi, i say go and visit the shrine again! stop ur kinda-spineless thing abt "visiting as a private citizen" and announce "i am going as a LDP person!". (but of coz, there is still the history books we need to talk about...)
pardon me, but i get terribly excited talking about history and certain politics. especially the wars. even tho' it is not well received in the circle. even tho' nice girls should not have strong opinions running contrary to popular views. for all these i blame my dad and our energy-charged arguments in front of the news channels and mr. kwan and his highly exciting last-min-WWII history-with-complex-chalkmaps-even-a-military genius-will-be-envious-of-taught-in-a-single-lesson in sec. one.
i think i shall take a jap history module again next sem. hmmm.
it was |2:32:00 AM|
it all started with a bowl of tom yam beehoon earlier in the week...
and since that, i've been having an unhealthy craving for tom yam flavoured instant noodles every single night. especially after 12mn. once it's a harmless bowl. other times, it's a harmless 2bowls + the drowning of the entire bowls of soup. msg, sachets of oil, wax, et al. and despite the girl's infamous dislike of all things salty. great. before she is even weaned off sweet stuff. so there - another category of junk food to enjoy.
the mere mention of tom yam is enough to make me salivate. this must be what they mean by conditioned reflex. ivan pavlov and his dog would have been so proud of me.
it was |11:31:00 PM|
i feel very giddy and sick now. i think it's coz i was poisoned inhaling carcinogens.
it was |6:33:00 PM|
by this plastic accidentally caught on the underside of the pan. which i dunno of. which dropped, got caught on the wireframe (luckily) , melted, and released a great white cloud of toxic fumes.
it was |6:32:00 PM|
the little bit that was scrapped from the mess in the oven (and scrapping is still in progress)
it was |6:30:00 PM|
but wells, it's kinda pretty actually.
it was |6:28:00 PM|
dun sue me but i.hate.fat.people.
but i dun just hate any fat people. it's the bountiful ones who have no idea that they are more rotunda than rotund (e.g. even bigger than a house, more like a round building). those that become so used, so oblivious to their size they think everyone else is an air molecule.
the worst are those that generate their own gravitational time and space. and sucked everyone into it too. one good example would be if u had been held up at the not-THAT-narrow wisma-taka corridor strip last wk, u were probably part of a human posession behind this fatty. the space in front of her looks like a time desert, while the wake behind her could swing and squeeze past neither her left nor right becoz she didn't walk, she waddled and fully occupied watever nano-space was left.
therefore, not only fatty is at the centre of her own world, everyone else is pulled into her gravitational force all at once. if F = ma, with the same force, higher mass, slower acceleration. blahblahblah u do the physics.
i also do not like fat people with a vivid imagination. for example, making the job of the salesperson difficult by telling him in the face, "why are ur clothes in M and L? dun u know that asian girls are very small??", and he can (and the shopper who walked past) only try very, very hard not to burst out laughing and offend u.
yes, asian girls are generally small compared to other races. but small doesn't mean not-fat u noe.
the other interesting issue is that some people do not see that certain clothes can only fit certain body shapes.
for example, if u are a girl not under 20, not under a size 2, not over 1.75m, have jiggly bits of flesh everywhere, it is probably not a good idea at all to wear a 6-inches long mini skirt. and do wear a longer top too. the only reason why it keeps running up exposing ur space-tire is not becoz it is too loose, but becoz the fiber is so stretched it is desperately trying to contract. plz dun offer people behind u a chance to laugh.
and if u happen to be ALMOST AS WIDE AS a mrt door, it will also be a public good if u do not stand next to, facing the door on the train. especially when there is so much MORE space IN the train. under normal circumstances, 3-4 people can get on/off the train at once. but you, the rotunda, the boulder, can single-handedly reduce the alighting/boarding load (see: own gravitational time and space) to be as little as 1/4.
i think it will really be good for them to lose some weight. we can get to enjoy the externalities, i.e. more breathing space. but since many of them are in denial or clueless abt their unique talents (see again: gravitational time and space), i can only help the rest of us by losing some weight myself.
it was |11:45:00 PM|
on sunday, i made jelly that taste so awful everybody threw the rest of the trays away after 2 bites. (never add sugar).
on monday, i made jelly that looks so awful everybody refuses to touch them. (soak the kiwi seeds for too long)
this morning, i've made jelly that cannot curdle. (investigations to the mystery are still under way)
how wonderful. if there's one thing i cannot become is a jamie oliver. damn.
but why can't they encourage instead of criticising a hell damn lot?
it was |7:55:00 PM|
a new skin... if u haven't noticed.
i apologise for the scrollbars tho' (i am not a fan of scrollbars either, trust me). but it has taken quite awhile for the technodino to tweek the template-ripped-off-from-blogskins and she is tired. and still not happy with it.
it was |4:47:00 AM|
what wouldn't i give to go to puerto rico too?
decadency.
yes, i suppose that's wat i am looking for.
it was |1:09:00 AM|
talk abt a cheeky/ cheesy pick-up line.
[ z h u a n g z ] the scissors thief strikes yet again says:
becoz then we wun noe how good the feeling of rain splattering on our skins can be
why can't there always be rainbows and butterflies says:
haha nice one
bengz always make me such a natural flirt. hahaha
it was |1:25:00 AM|
so the secret event, which is not a secret anymore, was a stayover!
the usual fare - BEEHOON, mahjung, gossips and laughters. oh oh n we baked fabulous cookies n there're pics to prove that i can bake!!! (abeit, it was a FOOLPROOF method by mrs. betty)
i love my northies so much..
anyways, bumped into jem while sleepwalking to J8 in my full standard unglam sleepover attire. and the very embarassing thing was that i thot he was the other twin for the entire duration of time i was talking to him. and it was a very long entire time too.
me: wait. aren't u jarald?
him: noO! i'm JEREMY!!
me: ... oh my god U LOST WEIGHT!!! so much less -gestures to shoulders- bulkier now!!!
and then suddenly i remembered that it is a bad thing for a guy to lose weight/ bulk. so i very quickly ended the convo, and very embarassingly too.
i thot of asking him s'thing else too but thot better of it.
speaking of which, there was a silence during a wink-and-u-miss-it moment last night. and i am amazed by the way we human react when it comes to such news.
it was |3:30:00 PM|
ever experienced this? when u do something, full of good intentions, or some person/people, but it backfires horribly, and u are saddled with the full blame.
and i simply sat thru' it numbly. i'm such a sucker for mental abuse.
i think i understand wat the quiz results mean now.
an sms came. more bad news. flashbacks of selected memories. was such a sucker for emo abuse.
just when i thot that i'd come clean with my life.
it is so bad it's makin' me crave for a smoke. to think that it was only yesterday i had declared so proudly, "but i dun smoke ANYMORE!"
oh great. all accumulates to physical abuse.
just nice, that the chioest chiobu just called. spent over an hr (it's 10:42 now) talking to the chioest chiobu. nv fails to make me laugh ah that girl.
a change is in the wind. yes, i can feel it too. hahaha
in fact, i so can't wait for the "by invitations only" event tmr such that i feel like walking to kovan mrt now. opps. hahaha
it was |9:17:00 PM|
it's been confirmed: danette's such a flirt.
but hey, if she didn't, u guys wouldn't have gotten the free round of drinks!
plus, the manager's really pretty cute! (c'mon u guys admited it.)
and we may possibly see cuter bartenders the next time there too! (that is, IF we decide to go back there again...)
flirt-cum-complain queen. wat a potent combi.
it was |12:45:00 AM|
i want the Xbox 360!!!!!!!!!!
but since that is not going to happen for quite some time...
i am looking for white hairpins. u know those black bobby-pins? they sell that in rainbow colours too.. but i only want the white ones. and the reds. and a certain shade of green. if anyone knows where to get a pack of that in white or wun mind sharing the rainbow pack plz lemme know!
why do i need them is becoz i have decided not to cut my hair yet-again. becoz cut hair also cost money. i think the ah bangs are actually relieve for this fact. the not-going-to-happen haircut i mean. they think that i am getting addicted to haircuts. i'm not! just that my hair doesn't exactly grow into a nice full mane so i get a paintbrush or a skinny whiplash instead of a nice ponytail and u all always laugh at that and then i get irritated with the hair, the weather, the shampoo, blahblahblah and i'll go n cut it off b4 it.
u know, i was incredibly worried even before the end of the last paper, becoz everyone else started bombarding me with all the "so, how are u gonna make ur holidays meaningful?"s.
i didn't start off intending to make my holidays meaningful. i knew i needed this hols to sort out some personal stuff. which is why i am organising and re-organising bits and pieces of my life. and finally seeking the medical attention that i need. the reflection is long due, and i guess i have been putting it off again and again, always thinking abt it for a short while, but then getting distracted by the bright lights of other things.
i have learnt wat is me and/or impt to me: my old frens, sweet-nothings, an insane unmatched love for tidiness, an incurable lazybone, the mistakes i've made leading up to the dark period of time, the question-mark fact that i enjoy both physical exertion and inactivity at the same time, the family members even tho' things are not going well for some time, that i keep second-rating myself etc. and what i am actually not, even tho' i thot i am: heartless, selfish, confident, spirited, etc. or maybe all these "weights" have made me less enthusiastic and spirited. and how everything that has happened has shaped my values and outlook.
anyways, this is an incredibly accurate mood tester which i do from time to time (do it w/o thinking. it really captures wat u are going thru' at different periods) except that this time i dun understand wat they really mean.
Much of the time you are preoccupied with things of an intensely exciting nature. You need stimulation and variation with all matters pertaining to your life. You want to be regarded as an exciting and interesting personality being able to charm and influence others. You use powerful strategies with predictable outcomes so as to avoid endangering your chances of success or undermining other people's confidence in you.
You want what you want and you need all that you want and, as they say in the movies, you are the sort of individual that 'By hook or by crook' you will, by fair means or foul, endeavor to get what you are looking for.
Your involvements seldom measure up to your high emotional expectations and your 'needs' to be 'loved' and 'cared for' have in the past often led to extreme disappointment. But a change is in the wind - make a firm decision to start anew. Just 'think' it..and it will happen.
You are pretending that the situation around you doesn't matter, but the effort of trying to conceal your emotions and anxieties is resulting in untold stress. The existing situation is disagreeable. You feel unwanted and lonely and you would really like to associate with someone whose ideals are as high as your own. You want to be above the standard of mediocrity and this need to be needed and that need to need has almost become an obsession. You are trying to magnify the need into a compelling urge. You would really like to tell the world how great you are but no, you are holding back because you feel that your peers may treat you with contempt. This is a great pity because you have in fact a unique quality of character, but the continual restraint that you impose on yourself makes you suppress this need for others and you pretend you don't really care. You treat those who criticise you with contempt. However, to be honest, beneath this assumption of indifference you really long for the approval and esteem of others.
You really like doing what you do and, more than that, you like yourself. Your attitude to work and to life is that 'If it's not fun - then don't do it'. You want to be liked and respected, not for who you are but for what you are - and it seems to be working.
it sure makes me sound very cunning. wat "by hook or by crook". but i am not such a goal-getter. really.
it was |11:57:00 PM|
i take back my words. becoz our narrow minds view love as the way it materializes, which is why it is as tragically unequal as currency.
yet another (potential) increase in tranport fares
and i am terribly unhappy earlier today, remembering the potential increase in transport fares. it is really not my place to be saying or complaining like a coffeeshop auntie/ taxi driver but:
1. i dun see a improvement in service since the last increase - i waited for 20mins for XX for three days in a row! all on different days, different times.
2. the shortest route to sch is a combination of either bus-bus-bus or bus-mrt-change mrt-bus, which is actually the longer route. and at times, i spend 45mins just to wait for the 3 damn buses!
3. the % increase in profits and fares dint translate into an appropriate % in my dad's salary (if u guys dint forget he is in CD engineering). so we speculate that it has to do with covering the major loss in overseas invertments, i.e. CHINA. opps. wat if i get sued for libel for this?
r'ber the play - all the good men are married, gay, or dead?
another reason for the unhappiness is the lack of gracious, gentlemenly guys here. i met the person-who-happened-to-be-in-the-speedboat-lynn-ran-after-for n he just hitched a cab ride from me. and no offers to split half the fare. i din't mind at that time really, coz i was so late and anxious due-to-the-stupid-late-buses, but hindsight tells us wat great cheapos our guys have become.
but my mood was lifted becoz i met two wonderful girls today!
epic tale i've yet to pen down. again.
my german classmate, whom i haven't seen for so long, whom i used to trade insults with all the time, and who inspired us with her story of recently getting attached to her primary sch classmate, and her fren who got attached to her sec sch crush, also recently. wah!
being the major sam-pat that we are, we are just waiting for someone to complete the ring by either the JC or or the kindergarten route. hahaha
meeeeee loves er-zhu!
and joanne, being the spontaneous and happening north person that we all are, came down to town at a phonecall. and there were so many things to buy.. and both of us are getting to be so broke. wth. wat a tragic world.
we wish somebody can just buy us borders.
and we're having a secret plan for fri - and it's by invitations only! *winkz*
starhub or M1?
i am gonna forsake the grand ol' singtel very soon. it's pro. it's funky. it's safe. but it doesn't reach me in the deep, dark studios.
starhub coz it's way funky. but unfriendly customer services. (well, at least during the time when i was still sec4)
M1 coz it's cheap. but gonna die off soon. (pple sell ur shares!!!)
take a vote - starhub or M1?
mothers' day over alr'd
i finally got to talk to my mom, after like a million days, basically coz i need to get more details for my specialists' visits.
but the verdict is still the same. the higher authorities think that it's time its citizens start taking more personal responsibility and that includes paying n painting n moving n etc etc etc everything by herself only.
which means that foreseen completion of the project on my room will probably be, the next lifetime.
it was |12:05:00 AM|
why, i din't noe u guys actually like them! there was this one person who told me to take all these notes down becoz it might incur the wrath and deep jealously of other people who aint got as many people lovin' them.
ey. i was gonna put up a pic of the mountain of notes/letters but in the end, i decided not to coz there were alr'd too many pics.
what to do. we live in a tragically unequal world. even when it comes to things as unmaterialistic as love.
anyways, i took so much time (sorry, everyone whom i dragged ar'd to look for it) and effort to find a perfect journal -paper cannot be too thin (ink will seep thru') or too thick (too heavy. unfrenly feel.). lines must be 0.7cm apart. (+/- 0.1) no coloured backgr'ds. (too distracting. difficult to match with pen's ink colour) funky cover. wire-bind- becoz a good start is .. well i dunno wat it is. but it's definitely good to have a good start.
i hope that book will contain many more frills and thrills and one day be worthy of the inspiration of a hollywood blockbuster/ epic produced by mir. muahhaha.
except that i haven't written any entry yet. opps.
right now, i'm trying not to think too far of the days ahead in this long, hot and dusty empty space. it makes me feel like a loser. i wish that someone can explain the concept of time to me. does time run in a linear path? i dun think so. it's like distance. there's a relationship of distance - and possibly one might add, direction - btwn the north and south and once north and south cease to exist, there's no distance. and no time. why do we say, time passes by? or do we pass into time? if time-space is expanding at different rates, and massive objects warp space-time, wat do all these things mean?
i dunno. and too lazy a mind to try and understand the last parts. so if u wanna conclude that i am stupid, fine with me. who cares. so wat if i understand the fourth and maybe even the fifth, sixth and seventh dimensions? i am still living in and bound to interaction with the third - time adds, progresses and will never go back. and when a sufficient amount of time has passed, we add "amounts" and "weight" and "age" to it. and people judge u by the accumulation of those "weighty" things - not only physcially, but also in a mental sense. which is also why we cannot go back to that weightless state.
if u still dun understand, nvm. i dun too. but that's coz we concluded that i am stupid. so wat's ur lousy excuse?
it was |12:50:00 AM|
the very very very pretty plant in a shell that my bbf gave to me!!! and i love it so much! (it's currently residing/hanging on my window grilles until a PR status can be found)
it was |12:09:00 AM|
the difference in handwritings...
it was |12:05:00 AM|
i really love all the funky envelopes...
it was |12:04:00 AM|
a certain person's handwriting nv change at all - from sec 3 until j2. and even now... =p.
it was |12:03:00 AM|
do u noe i have a box SPECIALLY for our pre-nationals' gift exchange? and i still keep every single thing anyone has given? so, who folded that star ah?
it was |12:02:00 AM|
VOZ!!!!!! *points excitedly to Qoo* i want more qoos!!!!
it was |12:01:00 AM|
no matter chinese, english, or doodlish... love is universal. *beams*
it was |12:00:00 AM|
i keep every single note, doodlings when we are bored, gift tags, and the one thing i can nv find a use for...
it was |11:59:00 PM|
i repeat - i keep every single note. and wrapping paper.
it was |11:58:00 PM|
last time, i had to see Gino so often he often joked he sees me more than he sees his own gf... and i miss everybody there - andrew, uncle joe, uncle opps-i-forgot-his-name, and the doctor i always try to avoid.
it was |11:57:00 PM|
how we lived b4 ezlink: and i used to love scratching and doing funky things to my farecards!
it was |11:55:00 PM|
b4 the days of handphones, i carried this magnetic list of everybody's phone and pager numbers everywhere i go..
it was |11:54:00 PM|
i still keep every thing, significant or not, in their proper order.
it was |11:53:00 PM|
and frens whom u dun noe that well actually take the time to say they love u...
it was |11:53:00 PM|
but erm, can anyone figure out who this is from? it took me 10mins but i still can't figure out who signed it... and i wanna know who
it was |11:52:00 PM|
r'ber our powerpuff craze?
it was |11:51:00 PM|
whether it's a 2page essay or a simply postcard... i love them all..
it was |11:50:00 PM|
but sometimes, a simple-cheapo post-it note can make u smile and feel so much loved... (and guess who this is from?)
it was |11:47:00 PM|
You Are a Christmas Sweater! 
Your Seduction Style: The Coquette 
What Your Dreams Mean... 
Your dreams seem to show that you're a bit disturbed... but nothing serious.
You may have a problem you're trying to work out in your sleep.
Overall, you are very content in your life.
You have a very vivid imagination and a rich creative mind.
You secretly want to hide your dreams from your waking mind.You May Be a Bit Histrionic ... 
Dramatic and over the top, you crave attention.
And you'll do anything it takes to get noticed.
You love to be seductive, even when it's inappropriate.
If you're ignored, you're easily hurt ... and act out even more!Your Rising Sign is Aries 
You're full of energy - and people look to you to get the party started.
Confident and honest, you'll be the one to say what everyone is thinking.
You are easily bored, and you always find unique ways to do things.
You don't just dream it, you do it. And that's why you're so successful.
Too intense for some, often times people are intimidated by you.
But you're usually smart enough to charm them anyway!The Keys to Your Heart
You are attracted to those who are unbridled, untrammeled, and free.
In love, you feel the most alive when things are straight-forward, and you're told that you're loved.
You'd like to your lover to think you are optimistic and happy.
You would be forced to break up with someone who was emotional, moody, and difficult to please.
Your ideal relationship is open. Both of you can talk about everything... no secrets.
Your risk of cheating is zero. You care about society and morality. You would never break a commitment.
You think of marriage something you've always wanted... though you haven't really thought about it.
In this moment, you think of love as something you don't need. You just feel like flirting around and playing right now.
it was |1:38:00 PM|
well i was gonna post abt my fabulous night but then i was knocked out by the medicine. luckily nv overslept on the bus and end up in east coast.
contrary to popular belief, the POISON really taste quite good! it's abit like the pi2 pa2 gao1, just 1000X stronger. so u can actually feel it burning ur throat. but well, i will spare u the rest of the details before i become a classic drone...
an interesting article appeared in yesterday's LIFE, "You are what you listen to: Your music are windows to your soul". they go about psycho-analysing people's choice of music. (and apparantly, Bush's selections' "safe", "reliable" and "loving".)Several recent studies in the US have shown that these lists are not only "the soundtracks" of our lives, but also reasonably reliable personality barometers used to suss out dating partners, job applicants and political candidates.
... This has apparently led to what is called "playlist anxiety".
The researches cite an example in which an employee was worried his co-workers might get the wrong impression because he had downloaded songs by teen idol Justin Timberlake and MOR songwriter Michael MacDonald for his wife.
so, to go about a psycho-analysis of myself, here's a sample of my playlist:
1. John Mayer - Daughters
becoz he is so s-e-x-y! and the song's incredibly real.
2. Jason Mras - You and I Both
becoz i simply love the bridge and can go on singing and singing and singing it forever and ever. and becoz he has such a funky surname that joanne and i dunno how to pronounce. haha
3. New Order - Krafty
becoz the beat's, erm, upbeat and it makes me incredibly happy everytime i hear it. *beams* and the song's so true!
4. Gwen Stefani - Rich Girl
the title says it all. duh.
If I was a rich girl
See, I'd have all the money in the world,
if I was a wealthy girl
No man could test me, impress me,
my cash flow would never ever end
Cause I'd have all the money in the world,
5. The Killers - Smile Like You Mean It
and actually, most of the tracks in the album. they are so retro. and make for really good get-drunk-and-holler-at-the-top-of-ur-voices songs.
Looking back at sunsets on the Eastside
Some things sat by so carelessly
well, today's gonna be another fabulous day of sushi buffet and shopping with suehui! haven't seen that girl in such a long time. we need serious catching-up. and i hope we wun be too reserved for that later.
and i hope that all 5 of us - that's our clique in sec sch - can get together soon. but seeing how everyone else is away and leading their high-flying lifestyles.. i guess i'ld be happy to just settle for 3 of us. and then u two will be flying away. the other one will be back. and the other other one will still be uncontactable.
and i'll be the only one here again. *sigh*
bumming around is so good. hah.
it was |11:09:00 AM|
it's a nice, cold day perfect for sleeping in.
i woke up almost dying from the lack of air. i knew i desperately needed the sink. i ran there and coughed up enough disgustingly sick yellow phlegm (i think) enough to fill up half a bowl.
and it felt GOOD after that. a weird sense of satisfaction. like all the bad things have been purged from ur system. now i know how bulimics feel. accompolishment and satisfaction.
i could never comprehend why some people swallow back their phlegm. well yes, i know that it is not that bad - the HCl in ur stomach will kill all the germs and stuff. but there's no such thing as a 100% guarantee loh. evern colgate total is only 98% sure. even dynamo is only 99% sure. even the wash-toilet-thing-wat's-that-harpic-? is only 99.9% sure.
here's what i always imagine - the germs will cling to the mucus in the stomach lining and diffuses across ur stomach skin. or via active transport. and then go back to the blood stream. and then back to the system.
it was supposed to be a long post before i went out of the hse and then here i am coughing my lungs out now after breathing in too much cold air, i think. so the old wives' tale must be sort of true.
there used to be a time when WE thot WE will have three kids in the future - 2 big boys and a little princess. and I continued living thru' that even tho' there was no WE anymore.
so people are often surprised when now, i said i am q. sure there'll be no kids in future. even when they haven't heard of the previous plan.
why?
becoz i know i can't live through my days knowing the other person and/or i have disappointed them in some way or another, or will disappoint them one day.
happy mothers' day.
I know a girl
She puts the color inside of my world
She's just like a maze
where all of the walls are continually change
And I've done all I can
To stand on the steps with my heart in my hand
Now I'm starting to see
Maybe It's got nothing to do with me
Fathers, be good to your daughters
Daughters will love like you do
Girls become lovers who turn into mothers
So mothers be good to your daughters too
Oh, you see that skin
It's the same she's been standing in
Since the day she saw him walking away
Now she's left cleaning up the mess he made
So fathers, be good to your daughters
Daughters will love like you do
Girls become lovers who turn into mothers
So mothers be good to your daughters too
Boys, you can break
You'll find out how much they can take
Boys will be strong
And boys soldier on
But boys would be gone without warmth of
A woman's good, good heart
On behalf of every man
Looking out for every girl
You are the god and weight of her world
So fathers, be good to your daughters
Daughters will love like you do
Girls become lovers who turn into mothers
So mothers be good to your daughters too
it was |10:39:00 PM|
becoz i can't sleep and people i wanna talk to aren't online...
oh great. so now i have a sore throat, a cough, AND an ulcer deep in the throat.
which is why i said "online" - becoz our very smart and sassy cheng wenshan correctly predicted that the only way i can talk now is, very sadly, on msn.
it's 4.30am now.
i have been tossing and turning in bed since, 2am?
i dunno why i can't sleep...
izzit becoz of the huge and many excitements at wenshan's 21st bday bbq just now?
it was a HUGE SUCCESS! pity all of u who weren't there. nahnaneepoopoo!
izzit becoz of the many-laughters-induced abs workout session?
as usual, it started all becoz of... "ey ey ey do u r'ber or not?!?!? last time lynn threw her bag on the pavement and ran after benedict in the boat... ..." *lol*
izzit becoz of the equally huge surprise and merriment of FINALLY receiving my 18TH BIRTHDAY PRESENT - one that is a photo album with some of the prettiest and happiest photos we've ever taken together in those torturous two yrs?
i love u girls to the bits! and vain us can't stop admiring how young we looked. hah! dun u ever dare forget one of the songs we sang: and we were so young then, we are so young so young now...
do u still sing these days?
izzit becoz certain words and stuff are turning themselves over and over again in my head, refusing to stay dormant even as i will their erasure?
certainly not.
or izzit becoz of the weather? or that i have been sleeping too much too often the past few days?
there goes the "must sleep b4 12mn" plans.
i have been looking thru' the catalogue and i see my room as an earth and neutral tone.
i still love my reds and oranges and whites and certain shades of green, but no, No More bright lights surrounding when i sleep.
and i need a bigger table. a downsized wardrobe.
trouble is, my mom came back and niam niam niam where am i gonna put the table, where am i gonna throw the wardrobe too coz it has hardly been even lyk, 4yrs? and where am i gonna put all my clothes, despite my assurance that i am gonna throw out half of them. i don't understand how come i am the only "thrower" while the four of them are such "hoarders". ok, maybe three. one of them is not a hoarder, but simply a lazybone who can let the mess accummulate passively.
some people simply dun understand that everything's and everyone's changing all the time. and we can't always be static when our needs and tastes change. u've just gotta move certain things, and maybe certain pple, away.
it sure sounds evil and totally heartless. but i really am not. i still keep all the letters, notes, gifts and sweet-nothings everybody's made with love for me!
but, there is a difference btwn a life full of activities/meanings and a life cluttered with activities/meanings. i just dun like a cluttered life, which is the case for the past, erm, 3 or 4 yrs? the orders of the day - downsizing, stripping, cutting, minus-ing, throwing, erasure. then can we find the gem under all those layers.
already, i can hear the papers being shredded and the sound of the masking tape coming off after the paint-job's done.
and i am in glee.
mad hor?
i really dislike people who tempt me and then backout quickly later.
dun they understand that u can't unthink thoughts? dun implant ideas in my head and make me check out and plan things and then get disappointed.
it sux, seriously.
i need (as of this moment),
a pair of new running shoes,
a pair of new rollarblades,
new contact lenses,
new specs,
new goggles,
new water bottle,
new tennis racket,
proper tennis lessons,
a race/match/competition to perk me up
my hitchhiker's guide to the galazy et al (it's been years yes i know! but i still love them.),
new comic books,
new pot (with a plant),
new table,
new wardrobe,
new hobby,
new chill out place,
new travelmates,
new stickers,
a new phone,
a new phone number.
i want,
as usual, all the girls' things which are impossible to satisfy. espercially those lacoste shoes, mango bottoms, cartier charm bracelets and a certain $42,400 tiffany pendant (mind u, and that's the pendant only).
but then again, we live for moments of glee and false hopes, so these things will still make me a very happy girl.
it was |4:35:00 AM|
tired. am trying to get to a "sleep before 12mn" routine but blogging and b.i.t.c.h.i.n.g nightly is a must!
firstly, i apologise to joanne, who has to endured my ah-gwa voice for the whole night. it wasn't an easy task, i can imagine. secondly, to the cashier at the stickers' place who was scared and thot that he must be facing an ah-gwa the minute i opened my mouth, i am sorry too.
it is not easy to talk too! and i can feel a cough coming! damn. tmr cannot eat all the chicken wings and satays how. and while everyone is sure gonna have fruit punch.. i must bring my own MIFFY of water. that is, if i find the MIFFY bottle out.
anyways, today started as a rotten day which ended being good. He/She/It made the weather so wet i couldn't start my training plan. (which has also not begun due to a serious dilution of motivation).
so wat to do? can only flirt with people on msn. all the winkz winkz winkz.. so joanne and i went thru' a series of wat we do best - pretending to be motivated by searching abt mini-triathlons and tennis lessons, b.i.t.c.h.i.n.g abt random strangers on random blogs, getting very excited for the BBQ tmr (and the side activities that will be happening. hehe)... and finally climaxing into a spectacularly spontaneous meeting in town! *grinz*
and i can't believe how much i am eating - even b4 the metabolic rate has a chance of getting higher. first was pizza at california's with a fren. then met joanne so we went for a round at mos burger. then we chilled with nice hot drinks at mccafe (my first time there! so exciting!). and then on the bus we smelt this.. hokkien mee smell, and i got hungry again.
so now i'm munching on my hor fun supper.
talking is mouth power is energy. *nods*
it was |12:32:00 AM|
i think, i wud have studied if i haven't met THEM in the morning.
but oh wells... it's OVERRRRRRRR!
i think, i have been talking too much the past two wks. like suddenly all the repression for the past yr all let out over one and a half wks. had a very very good dinner with xiuying and weiting. and we practically talked non-stop from 7pm till 1030pm?
talk talk talk talk talk...
now i've got a sore throat. becoz basically, the only time i dint talk today was from 1-3pm.
think to rest, good nights!
it was |12:28:00 AM|
boohoohoo. last episode... no more takuya! *sobz*
wow wow. just read diana's blog. i think the three of us look GOOD! n standing in btwn the two of them makes me feel like a (short) star! *beams*
haha... n we were just saying the other day that our photos (me +diana) can be arranged in chronological order, by the yr! seems that we only take pics with each other only once or twice a yr. no cannot we must change this tradition!
and oh my ego ego moment! for somebody who hasn't had a proper run after an academic yr, a proper swim for a sem.. i must say that it was a pretty good run! hahahaha. ok it wasn't exactly a run run, but still! dun expect greatness from s'one who has let herself gone to slack!
now i am so motivated to train again! hahaha i know it sounds crazy. but was thinking, y not get back to the days when all those egoistic guys (u noe who they are. they are usually the ones with big muscles n a tiny float) wud actually come up and ask, "u are pretty fast. are u in the sch team?" and i can proudly say, "NO!" or or u are gonna die from ur run some pervert coming up and ask, "u training for a marathon?" and i can still roar, "NOOOO?". n esp after what two of my abangs - kenn and kenrus - said the other day. and how today, a certain chong-san came back home in her shortshort green skirt showcasing her nice long lean shapely bronzed legs n i nearly got a nosebleed.
wah luckily i am her sister, not her brother. watever will a hot-blooded 20yr young boy do? i mean, c'mon man. even bengz thinks she'll go after her, if she (bengz) is a guy that is. hor beng? (psss lynnkoh and voz... look out for my email after tmr! hiakhiakhiak...)
seeing how dominate the atheletic genes in one side of the the family is, (the gossip genes in on the other side. trust me. i am not that powerful.) i believe that, getting back into (nearly) great form is not that difficult at all! just gotta make sure u guys dun tempt me to pig out (too much) now ah ~ bleahz.
very very motivated now. hope that this will stay up. so remember girls and boys, dun tempt me.
okok. time to mug. *sigh*. chong-san is replaying her japanhr next door n even tho' i dun understand a word, it sounds a lot better than say, "drainage and sanitary systems". why is it happening again... ....
i think i shall go n sleep soon. ok. i will sleep n wake up early!
it was |9:10:00 PM|
this is worse.
the weather DID take a turn. the skies finally poured and showered us with the much needed cool water.
but NOW, it has stopped. it's cloudy enough not to tempt me for a swim, and the temperature feels just right for an evening run.
why do all these kinda activities never strike me until it's the exams? every single time, without fail? basically, i think it's coz i always do anything but. argh.
ok. i am going for a run.
it was |5:43:00 PM|
(and i WILL source for a GOOD, CLEAR cordless phone model the first.. erm, ok. maybe third, thing after my exams! coz first thing must give tuition. yes it's sad i noe. but her paper's on the next day n i am a responsible tutor. and the second thing must meet xiuying! whom i haven't seen in a REALLY long time too!)
i lovvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvve candice! *muAckz*
hehe talking to her makes me feel so silly and such a schgirl again.. the things we used to do.. the things we ARE doing... even right now. opps. hahaha. but we've still got some time left! there's still time to be young, fun and flirty! and a voyeur. =P
ok, altho' we didn't really reach a 5 hr phone conversation.. but damn.
Can you imagine no love, pride, deep fried chicken
Your best friend always sticking up for you
even when I know you're wrong
Can you imagine no first dance, freeze dried romance, five hour phone conversation
The best soy latte that you ever had . . . and me
i miss u soooooooOOo much!
it was |9:59:00 AM|